DMV

Yesterday, the BK, LG and I, all decided to take a trip to the DMV to get Oregon Driver's licenses. Risky? Definitely, but we left early enough and figured we would leave if the lines were too hairy and brought lots of food to keep the LG quiet. We are both required to take a "knowledge test" before we can get the licenses, and due to my laziness over the years, I have 3 different names listed on my passport, SS card, and Driver's license. It's complicated, and the line turned out to be the least of our worries. We laughed our way through the line by reading the "study" manual, from which I have taken a few of the following excerpts:

1 - Drinking Myth #1 - "I drive better after a few drinks." Okay, come on, is this really even a myth, would anyone who is sober really give this as an argument?

3 - Drinking Myth #2 - "I don't mind riding with Joe after he's been drinking. He can really hold his liquor". If you ask me, you should send this guy home with Joe and just hope that they only remove themselves from the gene pool.

3 - "The importance of vision to driving is obvious." Apparently not so obvious that they couldn't leave this out.

4 - Hood Flies Up - Brake smoothly ease onto the shoulder, and stop. Thanks.

5 - "Although drivers must yield to pedestrians in crosswalks, pedestrians must not suddenly leave a curb or other safe waiting place and walk into the path of a vehicle....Vehicles cannot stop instantly."

6 - "You may pass on the right only when there is room ahead on the road." You mean to tell me that if there is a semitrailer in the right lane, I can't drive underneath. Come on. That totally has to be legal.

You might be thinking that this is a knowledge test for dummies, which, it may be, but I should also share at this point that the BK failed the test and he is no dummy. I, was unable to take the test at all (thus spared the humiliation that would likely have ensued), as (surprise, surprise) I hadn't brought along enough verification to prove that my hodgepodge of alternate identities were actually me.

So, let's be honest, how many of you drivers out there would answer the following correctly:

1 - When stopped at a red light on a two-lane road, it is legal to: A) turn right after coming to a complete stop; B) turn left onto a one-way road after coming to a complete stop; C) Proceed through the intersection after coming to a complete stop and checking for traffic; D) A & B; or E) All of the above. The answer is D. Yes, in Oregon, it is apparently legal to make a left turn onto a one way street, even through oncoming traffic.

2 - A Class C driver's license allows you to drive the following vehicles in the State of Oregon: A) Passenger vehicles including cars, trucks and recreational vehicles for personal use; B) Passenger vehicles, recreational vehicles and fire or emergency vehicles; C) Passenger vehicles and motorcycles; D) School buses. The answer is B. I've always wanted to drive a fire truck. Here's my chance.

I don't want to get into the rest (since there are probably quite a few others), but it was humbling, and sort of amusing that after being there for an hour (not bad), all we (two grown adults with Master's degrees) walked out of there with was a lighter wallet ($5 for the BK to take the test). I guess we are just lucky they didn't revoke our Virginia licenses on the spot and call us a cab.

News Release: #2 has Entered the Building

So, for all of my faithful readers who I know have had a hard time lately with my absence and lame blogging, I am officially ready to announce that I am pregnant with #2. Yup, it's exciting. Now that I have that statement out of the way, let me just say that I already feel sorry for the second child. With the LG it was all about the experience, it was all new, some very creepy, but it was an exciting experience. Now that I have already been through it once, it is all about the baby (not the pregnancy), and the baby doesn't even get here for another 6 months or so. So yup, there it is. Around Nov 8th, there will be another baby joining the BKs powerhouse. The baby will also need an alias, so I am taking suggestions starting now, this could be more important than the baby's actual name.

News Release #2: Maternal GMA and GPA head to Manchester, NH to Serve an LDS Mission!!!

More excitement. Although I was secretly hoping they would be going somewhere exotic where I could take a vacation, like Ghana, Costa Rica, Thailand, or Brazil, I am honestly just thrilled that they are going. It's about time. I could use a few more blessings as a result of the righteousness of my parentals. We will certainly miss them, but as one of the BKs favorite icy mountains is also in NH, I'm sure we will find a few excuses to make it out to see them, even with dos bambinos in tow.

Packing Up

I had a suitcase sitting out the other day, and the LG proceeded to drag it near the door, unzip it and climb right on in. It made me think of how easy it was to drop what I was doing, pack up and ship out before I had him. Some of the places include NYC, San Francisco, London, Mexico, Guatemala, China, and Bermuda. Places we have traveled since the LG mostly include trips home to Utah, a trip to Memphis, and a car ride across the country involving a 20 foot penske and all our belongings. Though none of these destinations are nearly as exotic, or far away, they required a level of planning equal to that involved in a small scale battle attack, patience that I never knew I had in me, a few tears (mostly on airplanes with the LG writhing on my lap with some shrieking and nasty glances), and more gear/suitcases than I took for a 6 month stay in China. Go figure. I wouldn't trade any of it though, and am just glad that I had the opportunity to do those things before having him around. I guess I will have to wait a few years (like 20) before I can do that again, but I can't wait.

Rotten Eggs

Good thing I didn't keep the Easter eggs out until I got around to posting. Thanks to Jackson's predisposition to searching under and around the couch for "goodies", we thought he would be old enough for an egg hunt. Sure enough, he found most of the eggs once he got going - he was fascinated enough with the first one that it took some time to convince him it was worth his time to look for more. Pics attached. In honor of Easter, I thought I would post some random thoughts on the holiday:

1 - Where/when did the tradition evolve that the Bunny is like Santa and brings gifts? Don't get me wrong, Easter was quite an exciting event around our house, but I just have a hard time making the connection.

2 - I think an Easter Duck makes more sense than an Easter Bunny. Bunnies don't lay eggs, so where do the eggs they get come from? Some poor unsuspecting chicken probably. And frankly, I think giant rabbits are a bit horrifying. Plus, why do all the rabbits turn pink during Easter? Maybe an Easter Lizard, kind of like Godzilla. I bet Godzilla has mad easter egg hunting skills.

3 - We used to roll our decorated, hard-boiled eggs down really large hills. I liked that. It was fun to watch them bobble and break down the hill. I'm sure it made for some pretty sanitary conditions, but germs didn't matter much around our house, and I'm pretty sure we ate them anyway.

4 - Egg hunts. Brilliant. Nothing like a bunch of kids dressed in their Sunday best pushing and shoving each other in order to find the most eggs! Nothing like some healthy competition to celebrate a sacred holiday.

5 - Truthfully, I really like Easter. A bit of fun, a few presents, good food, and usually good church service. Not a bad way to spend a weekend.

What a Week - & HAPPY EASTER!!!

I'm sure I am the only person on the planet who has had a hectic week. Other people don't have crazy lives, crazy kids, crazy jobs, messy houses, grocery shopping, car washing, bill paying, church callings, sporting events, husbands, etc., right? Seriously, I must be the only one.

In order to pay homage to my crazy week (which also explains my laziness in blogging), y'all get to be graced with a detailed description.

MON - Got up early to run! Get new contract for work! Yahoo. Good news. I am pretty excited about it. Get to go to LA for a couple of days and see my bro and his fam. Got some laundry done. Tried to practice the piano for a small gig on TUE with the LG hanging on my arm and biting me. LG showing signs of sore bum. Get Easter goodies in mail from East Coast G-Ma, including an awesome sheep that the LG LOVES to bodyslam.



TUE - Frantic about said gig tonight since LG/hanging/biting hasn't gotten me far in practicing. I should have offered to play Mary had a Little Lamb rather than the Maple Leaf Rag, then I wouldn't be freaking out. Try to get paperwork wrapped up for new work contract while LG sleeps. LG wakes up screaming, stinky and stiff as a board when I lift him out of his crib - pretty obvious that sore bum is now untouchable. Prepare to clean the hazardous waste as gently as possible - no go. Proceed to try and talk him into letting me wipe hazardous waste off his bum - no go. Proceed to physically force his legs into air so I can get in a clean swipe - no go. Please save me. At this point, I was crying. How can I put bum cream on over hazardous waste - it seems pointless considering the waste is the culprit making his bum red and raw (advice welcome here). This episode went on for 20 minutes. By the time I was done, the BK had arrived home with food and it was dinner time (no practice time for gig available). LG won't sit in highchair (or anywhere for that matter). Dinner is held on the floor. I speed out frantically to said gig for Relief Society Birthday dinner - grab appetizer at store (not very supermom of me) - play a rather imperfect rendition of Maple Leaf Rag that would have embarrased old Scotty. Bed.


WED - SOCCER! (Who cares what else I had to do that day)

THUR - Had to work in the morning while LG napped. Then, go to go with a friend to the Tulip Festival. One more reason to love Portland (they are slowly adding up). This place was awesome! Lots of fun outdoor stuff for the LG, a tractor train ride, and beautiful fields of tulips. We got a bit lost on the way, so as always, it took a little longer than I planned (like the whole day), but was well worth it, and we topped it off with some tasty Thai food. Nap. Bit of visiting teaching. Bed.





FRI - YAHOO!!! BK is meeting us for lunch so I gotta run.

HAPPY EASTER EVERYONE

No, No, No

Put the stick down. Put that away. Don't pour your milk on the couch. No. Stop. Oh, BOY. No, come back here. Don't take your shoes off. Don't take your socks off. Stop touching that. Get your hand out of there so I can put your diaper on. Stop biting me. Sit down. Hold still. Stop screaming. No more screaming. PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE STOP screaming. Get out of that drawer. Don't stick your finger up my nose! Don't stick your finger up your nose! Don't stick that bean up your nose! Don't eat the dirt. Don't eat that off the floor. Stop licking that! Don't put that in your mouth. Take the quarter out of your mouth. What IS that in your MOUTH??? No. Stop. Don't touch that. Stop touching the gum on the sidewalk. Don't touch the gum. STOP! Take that gum out of your mouth! Stop rolling around. Please lay still and let me wipe your bum (never thought I would hear myself saying that one).

I just can't imagine where he learned to say, "No, no, no" while shaking his head from side to side. It sure is an adorable head though. Other current words include: dada, all done, down, up, a dat? (what's that), go go go, katty, dog, and an assortment of sounds made by motorcycles, boats, dogs, lions, bees, fire engines, and trains.

Just a little pic I love from our trip last summer to Bear Lake.

Leftovers (Part II)

Nope, not more whining about food. This is about my soccer team - the Leftovers. When I moved to Portland, I knew no one, had nothing to do, no job to keep me busy or help introduce me to real people or keep my mind from turning to mush, neighbors to commiserate with about the joys of parenthood, or a soccer team to play on. You may think that the hardest part was the people, wrong, it was the soccer. So, when I heard through friends of friends, that a former highschool classmate lived in the area - I naturally stalked her down on the internet, and low and behold, on her blog, there was a scoreboard for a soccer team. I didn't pay much attention to the scores (or her blog that first time), just that there was the possibility of playing soccer.

So I contacted her, she was kind enough to invite me to play, and I was thrilled to drive 30 minutes to the other side of Portland to play. After a few brief introductions, and a few comments about how terrible everyone thought they were, the buzzer sounded and the game began. Well, it didn't take long to realize that they weren't kidding about their abilities, but boy, these girls could have a good time. Sometimes it seemed as though their strategy involved trying to distract the other team with hysterical giggling, and it did work, sometimes - but not often enough. When it was my turn to sub in, I thought I might be able to help, but that only lasted a brief 5 minutes before my lungs caught fire, and I started seeing stars. I could barely raise a hand high enough to beg for a sub. Nothing like indoor soccer to remind me how chubby and downright out of shape I still am.

After that game, I learned that their first 3 games they didn't score a goal. Our season did eventually include some wins, some goals, and a few more losses. But you know, for a group of 30ish year old women with kids, many of whom have never played soccer before, I definitely have a lot of respect for their willingness to try something new, dangerous (someone already broke an ankle), and sometimes humiliating (our last game resulted in a score of 9-2). It's kind of inspiring to watch the circus every week. You can see a picture of our team on my friend's website - The Keeper of the Cheerios.

I am having a great time. So great, in fact, that when I was called to work with the Young Women at church, who happen to have their activities on the same night as soccer, I started to cry. I mean soccer was the ONE thing I had going for me in this weird town. Thankfully, due to a few schedule changes by the league, late night games, and Spring Break, I won't actually have to give it up. It's mine. All mine.