Family Jewels

One small lego (the pretty red one, to be exact)......


One small nostril (the right one, to be exact).....


One small toddler who has apparently discovered that by using his chubby little pointer finger he can shove a tiny lego up his nose =

One traumatizing Sunday evening.

FULL STORY BELOW
Sunday night, as I was preparing dinner for some friends of ours, the LG wanders in to the living room to announce that he has something up his nose. "No you don't", I respond. "Mommy, I have a lego in my nose." I have learned that although he is only 2, he usually knows what he is talking about so I start pressing on his nostril. Wincing ensues on his part, eye rolling on mine, and the BK looked at me with with a pale face as I confirmed that there was something hard in there.

Luckily, the couple who was about to witness this fiasco, includes a pediatrician who was more than willing to provide services to the LG. The Dr. brought with him this handy little foley catheter (pictured below - I don't recommend googling it, just be grateful I did it for you). I thought it was pretty cool, and had high hopes for the device which is threaded through the nostril behind the object. You blow up the balloon behind it, and voila!!! out comes the object. That is, unless, the balloon happens to explode causing a bloody nose, and an already thrashing toddler who is being pinned down by his loving parents, to kick it up a notch.


I think we still felt hopeful until the Dr. announced that it was time to use a paper clip. That didn't seem very medical to either the BK or myself, but I was pretty willing to continue outsourcing the removal of the shiny jewel. One more try at pinning him down (we also learned a bit about the LGs physical prowess and our lack thereof), the Dr. was even looking a little nervous now (although I assured him that liability wasn't an issue for me in our living room - I'm not sure that really helped so much), and one quick swipe later, out came the jewel in a bloody bubble. Ahhhh, relief.

Even the LG forgot about the trauma as soon as it was removed, and in a show of friendship, grabbed the Dr.'s hand and told him they were now going to watch some "Thomas the Tank Engine". A very BIG thank you to the Dr. who saved us from sitting in an ER for 6 hours, and who remains one of the LGs favorite adults.

First Time?

I just finished having lunch with a friend and we were discussing the differences between first time parents, and those with more than one child. Although I still only have one, I don't categorize myself as a first time parent and am therefore about to poke some fun of those who are.

HOW TO TELL IF YOU ARE A FIRST TIME (or just uptight) PARENT

1 - Your child is eating cheerios off the floor at church. The cheerios do not belong to you. What is your response?
A - Remove them immediately from your child's mouth, and clean the remaining ones off the floor.
B - Sweet! I totally forgot snacks today anyway.

2 - You are leaving your 1 year old child with a friend at their home for 4 hours. You:
A - Bring a sandwich, banana, juice, crackers, fruit, fruit snacks, 6 diapers, a full package of diaper wipes, 2 bottles, 2 pacifiers, a blanket, a change of clothes, and a list of contact numbers including 4 emergency contacts, and a map with directions to the nearest hospital from your friend's home.
B - Drop off your child with one wet diaper, one dry diaper, and instructions to only call in case of an EXTREME emergency. You have my cell, right? I'll try to remember to turn it on.

3 - Your toddler is learning to crawl up the stairs. You:

A - Wish her the best and go back to folding the laundry.
B - Pick her up to prevent her from falling without you there while you grab the camera, pillows to prevent injury, a sippy cup in case she gets thirsty, and a snack for yourself while you watch and marvel at the action for an hour.

4 - Your child begins licking the shopping cart handle.

A - No problem! I already sanitized it with the handy sanitizers I carry in my purse!
B - Encourage this behavior in order to promote a healthy immune system.

5 - What is wrong with this picture?

Illustration, Zohar Lazar, Bostonia Magazine
A - Ha! I get it. It's a trick question. There's nothing wrong!
B - Those parents should have had more than one kid, and should have kept their full-time jobs and not retired so early.

If you can't figure out which choice would be made by a first time/overbearing/uptight parent, you clearly are one ; )

Anytime My Love

Yesterday when I brought the LG his elaborate and carefully prepared breakfast of cereal and juice, he looked at me and sweetly said, "Mommy, you bring me somethings? That's so nice of you to bring me somethings." Ahh, if only every morning were such a delight.

He has also become quite the cook and loves to help me "make things" in the kitchen. At 2, I would say that he is pretty ahead of the curve of most children whose parents are probably much smarter than I am and refuse to let their toddler near hot stoves, ovens, etc. I lost the battle a while ago, and gained a partner who can flip pancakes, stir anything, sprinkle salt evenly over food in the frying pan, make a sandwich, knead bread and make a quesadilla. *Note to Grandmothers - he is ALWAYS closely supervised.