HOW TO TELL IF YOU ARE A FIRST TIME (or just uptight) PARENT
1 - Your child is eating cheerios off the floor at church. The cheerios do not belong to you. What is your response?
A - Remove them immediately from your child's mouth, and clean the remaining ones off the floor.
B - Sweet! I totally forgot snacks today anyway.
2 - You are leaving your 1 year old child with a friend at their home for 4 hours. You:
A - Bring a sandwich, banana, juice, crackers, fruit, fruit snacks, 6 diapers, a full package of diaper wipes, 2 bottles, 2 pacifiers, a blanket, a change of clothes, and a list of contact numbers including 4 emergency contacts, and a map with directions to the nearest hospital from your friend's home.
B - Drop off your child with one wet diaper, one dry diaper, and instructions to only call in case of an EXTREME emergency. You have my cell, right? I'll try to remember to turn it on.
3 - Your toddler is learning to crawl up the stairs. You:
A - Wish her the best and go back to folding the laundry.
B - Pick her up to prevent her from falling without you there while you grab the camera, pillows to prevent injury, a sippy cup in case she gets thirsty, and a snack for yourself while you watch and marvel at the action for an hour.
4 - Your child begins licking the shopping cart handle.
A - No problem! I already sanitized it with the handy sanitizers I carry in my purse!
B - Encourage this behavior in order to promote a healthy immune system.
5 - What is wrong with this picture?
Illustration, Zohar Lazar, Bostonia Magazine
A - Ha! I get it. It's a trick question. There's nothing wrong!
B - Those parents should have had more than one kid, and should have kept their full-time jobs and not retired so early.
If you can't figure out which choice would be made by a first time/overbearing/uptight parent, you clearly are one ; )
5 comments:
Too funny. I am constantly laughing at myself thinking about my first child response versus the third child response. Hard to believe Caymbree has actually survived this long. And I owe a huge thank you to those children who leave the cheerios at church. My toddler thanks you even more.
That is me! Not a first time parent! I could add a few to this list . . . like first time parents respond to every cry for help, while I wait until I see blood.
So true. So true. I love watching first time moms at the park. They are the ones following their child around prevent them from any possible fall. And they are also the ones that end up pushing my child in the swing because I can't hear them whining over my talking with other the other moms I'm with. Got to love those First time moms.
Ha! I think there are some second or third time around parents that are never going to relax. Like my friend who called poison control when my daughter sucked on some lip gloss while she was at my friend's house. Children's lip gloss - what kid doesn't taste their lipgloss?
Oh Jenn, I agree. Sorry it's been so long. I love the binki response, first child: sanitize in hot water, 2nd: rinse, 3rd: lick it off and plop it back in:) It's gross, but what can you do? My kids love to help in the kitchen too, and I have to say I enjoy the company. The other day we were dancing to the Wiggles, and I actually got most of the dishes done! Hope you are doing well!
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