Things that make me say hmmmmmmmm.

We are crazy. Have no doubt. We have been spending our "together time" as I call it doing a lot of road tripping (there is a VERY good reason it isn't called road vacationing). I am done. Beyond done. Finished. Caputo (this probably isn't a word). From Logan, UT, we thought it would be a good idea to take a 900+ mile roadtrip to Vancouver, BC. Hmmmm.

HIGHLIGHTS:
1 - Got a great deal on a 5-star hotel
2 - Ate some real and really good Chinese food
3 - Opportunity to check out a beautiful city and use the passports we got for our kids.

LOWLIGHTS:
1 - 2 small children. One approaching 3 years old whose mouth doesn't stop flapping unless he asleep, the other is 4 months and hates to ride in the car for even a mile to go to the grocery store. Double hmmmm.

2 - 2 children in diapers. Inevitably, we always gave the diapers more credit than they deserved. As a result our car smelled a lot like the rest stops we frequented.

3 - 2 children who are used to sleeping in their own rooms. One requires the door to be locked at night to keep him from running around like a madman until the wee hours of the morning. I don't care if your hotel has the milky way rating, we needed 3 rooms just to make the stay tolerable. One room plus the portable crib in the bathroom didn't cut it.

4 - Poor planning in the books-on-tape department. If you hear the LG using EXTREME profanity, you can blame it on the R-rated language emanating from our speakers. One benefit of this debacle is that I plan to blame all his bad language until he moves out on this one trip. (You may say, turn it off. Hmmmm. That, like many other things is much to simple to be a solution we would employ).

5 - Poor planning in the not-bringing-a-sitter department. Let's just say that eating with chopsticks with a squirmy worm on my lap doesn't go to far in helping me enjoy ANY dining experience. Again, wouldn't matter too much if the food received the milky way rating.

6 - As a woman still recovering from the ill-effects of bearing children on my style, body image, and any sense of self worth - take note: don't go to cities with your two obnoxious children in tow where there are an abundance of thin Asians, sharply dressed 20-somethings, and plenty of store fronts reminding me that there is a whole world of fashion out there I can no longer relate to.

7 - Staying with friends/family. We learned that relying on the good graces of your peeps along the way may result in your loss of these people as friends, especially if you have your own version of the LG to mismanage. Let's see...where to begin? How about with the sharpie he located and proceeded to use in marking his territory on the steering wheel and leather seats of our friends' car? Or, maybe with the pink finger nail polish he used to paint a small wooden chair, some white carpet and a dining room chair (don't be fooled by the small size of those nail polish bottles, I had NO idea how many square feet a 2-year old could cover in 5 minutes).

As you can see, the lowlights far outweigh the highlights. As crazy as this may seem, we just got back from another 3 day adventure down to Lake Powell for my Triathalon. Stay posted for Triathalon highlights. I promise to leave out my complaints about traveling with kids.

Holy Crap.....It's a bird...It's a plane....No, it's a humanoid.

So, one of the benefits of having a lot of unemployed adults sitting around is that you can watch a lot of History Channel together. This is particularly exciting considering that the History Channel no longer airs shows about history, but rather much more salacious and exciting programs like Monster Quest, UFO Hunters, Band of Bloggers, Ice Road Truckers, etc. If you don't believe in monsters just yet, you need to start watching Monster Quest, although that would probably require that you also become unemployed. It's trade off. The latest episode we saw involves a "HUMANOID" that has been sighted floating over Mexico and in Arizona. Below is footage of the flying creature.



So, we have been keeping our eyes peeled, and decided to head to the park down the street and do some "humanoid" watching. Tuesday, at approximately 7:04pm, we officially captured footage of a humanoid hovering over Lundstrom Park....ominous.




What the what??? I saw it with my own eyes, and I will defend to the end that this is not a Photoshop job. There are also a bunch of middle school football players I can round up who will also verify the sighting. I will post the video footage we also have if you make special requests, but the quality of the image is much less credible.

Terrorism. What? Huh? No, I don't mean that humanoids are a form of terrorism, but rather that there is a VERY strong connection between both phenomenon - unemployment. When grown men have nothing productive to do, they watch too much TV, and devise mischievous ways to keep busy. Like planning, building and launching a floating humanoid. Enough said. If you haven't already been praying for us to find legitimate means of employment, you should start now. Otherwise, you should probably expect to start following your local Fox News at 9 more closely for future sightings.

Just for the record, there were multiple unemployed males involved in this venture.

Blessings

We blessed the TP on the last Sunday in August. It was so nice to have all 4 of my brothers there, and fun to have all the family (sans Elder and Sister missionaries and my sister and her fam). The LG was up to his usual antics, devouring half of the Better-Than-Sex cake with his cousin right before everyone was to walk out the door. I must give credit where due, however, and mention that they were at least considerate enough to get most of it in their mouths and not on their clothes.





I also really wanted my brother to photoshop my bangs into place on that first photo, but in his laziness the quick job resulted in me looking like part of a toupee had dropped from the sky and landed on my forehead. So much for his mad photoshop skills.

In other news, the TP slept through the night last night after throwing an expected tantrum for about 2 hours the previous 2 nights. I am a stickler for weaning them from that 3am feeding as soon as the experts say they won't starve. It's amazing how different children can be at even 3 months. The LG only cried for 20 minutes one night and then we were done. The TP's fits put him to shame. (That said, I realize many parents have a much harder/longer time in dealing with this. I hope I never have to understand. Just don't start sending hate mail!)

Lastly, the LG is as amusing as ever, keeping us laughing in those precious and few moments between our impatience, his craziness, and time outs. A few LGisms for your amusement:

After waking from a nap, he rambles up the stairs to exclaim, "Mom, the monsters are coming, they're going to eat my bum."

"Hurry mom, there's no time to lose", he says as he punctures holes with a pen in a cardboard box.

After asking my brother to go pick up a box of books at the neighbors' house, I see that the LG is sneaking out the door. As I impatiently question what he is doing he replies, "I have to go mom, I'm going to get the books at Marilyn's." Ahhh, mommy's little helper.

Finally, perhaps the most amusing thing he has done all summer (so far) was when he was playing Hide Seek and Destroy (thanks for teaching them this one Uncle M - you know who you are) with his 5-year old cousin. Big R (cousin) kept trying to get the LG to drop to the ground when he received a fatal blow indicated by machine gun noises and a croquet mallet that was pointed his direction. The LG wasn't really going along/paying attention/interested, much to Big R's dismay. In an effort to demonstrate, the Big R tells the LG to shoot him (the LG was suddenly paying attention). As Big R is laying there, dead, with both eyes closed, the LG slowly raised his mallet over head head and planted it smack down in the Big R's man part. You may think I am so cruel for laughing, but it was one of those moments where all the adults knew exactly what was coming, but were unable to either stop the event or stop lauging. It took a few seconds for me to compose myself enough to put the smack down myself (minus the smacking becuase not even I can see the logic behind that response in this case). Sorry Big R, he'll outgrow this someday, right?

One more thing...These are the passport pics for our kids. Yes, we were planning to use them to move to China. We were one email away from doing it. Who knows, maybe in January. Until then, we plan to use them to take the kids to Canada next month. Thanks Homeland Security for giving us a good use for a passport for a 3 month old ; )

Trying New Things

We went boating on Saturday out at Benson with the cousins and some friends. The LG decided after watching his 5-year old cousin surf (along with the help of his uncle), that he was up to the task. The BK, who is always a wee bit more protective than me in these situations wasn't so sure, but I convinced him that not much could go wrong - the boat was going really slowly - and that we should encourage him to try new things. The LG had one of his contagious smiles on from the moment he got into the water. He's 2. Yup, the kid's bravery kind of astounds and baffles me. I mean, it took him 3 weeks to warm up to jumping to me from the side of the swimming pool, but pop a life jacket on him, and show him that his cousin can do it, and he is ready to get behind a powerboat on a surfboard with his uncle. Go figure. This is what it looked like:


That is, until my brother (the LG's responsible uncle) decided to ride the wake and they wiped out. Apparently we had forgotten to tell the LG that in this event he should let go of the rope. We also underestimated the LG's superhero strength as he held on with one hand bobbing around like a fish on a reel until the boat finally came to a halt. The BK dove into the water before the boat had even completely stopped (ahhh, that's my man), along with his wallet, keys and cell phone, to rescue the LG. Expecting a screaming, crying and terrified child who would never try water sports again, we all started laughing hysterically and applauding when he finally surfaced and asked with wide eyes (but no tears), "What happened to me?"

Nothing but surfing buddy. Nothing but the surf.

Summer

This summer has sort of been like summers in highschool. No work, lots of play, and lots of messing around. The only difference is that now I am the one cleaning up the messes. The LG is having plenty of fun with his cousin. They like to get dirty, like playing in the firepit. The LG has also become quite comfortable in the kitchen. His favorite thing to do is play "sandbox" with whatever he can find. The list includes cereal (below), baby formula (pricey and sticky), flour, baking powder, ice from the icemaker. At least it beats him climbing on cars with pens. Pretty sweet. He is getting good at helping with the cleanup though, which provides some consolation. Wrestling with the TP is also one of the LG's favorite things to do. I doubt the same can be said for her. This is clearly before he lays back with her and starts rolling around. Finally, I am pleased to say that I have been teaching the LG all kinds of useful things like silly songs and the pledge of allegiance. I will only entertain you with the video footage of "Down Down Baby". Ahh, I love Big.

New Adventures

In addition to playing pretty hard this summer, I have been doing a couple of productive things. Not to shamelessly promote myself, but I'm going to.

Tiger
My brother and I have started a graphic design firm. He does the design, and I tell him how to do basic mathematics and round up clients. If anyone knows of anyone who needs some design services and is willing to pay for them, you can check out the website (www.tigerco.net). We can do just about anything, and not to brag, but my brother is pretty awesome.

BigEd Project
I have also decided to start another blog that details my interests in education. It has always been an interest of mine, and I would like to start writing so I am hoping that eventually I can turn it into something worthwhile. For now it will be a weekly post that either reviews a book or discusses a particular topic I am interested in. Check it out if you like (www.bigedproject.blogspot.com), and pass it along if you think others might be interested.

That's enough shameless promotion for now.

Summer Fun Part II

Getting Used to TP - The LG has become a fabulous older brother, and although he risks loving her to death on occasion, he is a big help.


When in Rome - You should never pass up the opportunity to watch rednecks run cars into each other.


Bike Riding w/Dad - Too bad he only likes to ride down the hill.


First Campout - Just an overnighter for a family reunion in Bear Lake but TP slept for 7.5 hours - a record - so no complaints about sleeping on a rocky incline all night.